careless whipples

Time can never change
The Careless Whipples, of a surgeon...

I'm never gonna drink again,
Can't you see I got no liver
Though it's easy to pretend
you know I'm gonna sue
should've covered up and made amends
by getting me an organ giver
but now you're never gonna cut again
because i'm gonna sue.

Seems like things people come up with (well, at least me), come from discrepancies, misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and the like. I've had countless conversations, that have stemmed from something that was said or heard incorrectly, and then my imagination takes over and usually a convoluted story springs forth. For course, this depends a lot on who I'm speaking with, and whether we can feed ideas off each other. I reckon this process is likened to the genetic mutations that are gathered and formed in evolution; the generation of new, original material, more than the sum of the original inputs. Surely this is, or at least one of the ways, people and humanity have formed and do form new ideas. It seems to me that all other things in our life are derived from one thing or the other that we had witnessed or had experience of. We usually just build up new ideas from old ones, but these are not radical - they are fundamental and inevitable conclusions from the originals. (A + B = AB (a different entity, but generally the same). Conversely, I'm proposing that from errors, we can obtain totally different properties and ideas (A + B = pineapple). Though it seems like we can sometimes be in the grip of our past, and our environment, I believe that there are things that can affect and change us that are unpredictable.

jim's party

Haven't done anything this weekend, apart from going to Jim's 23rd last night. It's sometimes seems amazing to me how unstressed I am, seeing that exams are coming up in a few weeks' time. Maybe its just my perception on how easy I think it will be, or something, but it has been a trend with me to leave things at the last minute... hopefully this won't just be another case of that.

I've been annoyed, always have been but more so lately, at people who say things or do things just to get recognition or to show off. After such a comment is made, I normally ponder for a while, analysing the context and content of the deed, just to try and see what the intention was. If it ends up being self-inflatatory, it really starts irratating me. For example, some of the gossip I listen to sometimes seems to be said just so the person saying so can make (or think) themselves like they're really great friends with the person they heard it from, or whom the information concerns, or that they're better because they knew before you, or know more than you. It's as if they're saying, "Oh, didn't you know that? I found out weeks ago. You're not really with it are you?". Even more annoying is when people barge in when a question is asked, right in the middle of when you're giving the answer, or straight after. It all seems to be in an effort to go "Me Me ME! Look at this knowledge I have! Aren't I Good?!". At these times, I usually give up, stop competing in the noisy battle trying to get a word in edgewise, and sit in silence, in great irritation. The most annoying thing is, though, when I catch myself doing the same thing. I've found myself mentioning things, or even repeating comments if I think others haven't heard. Afterwards, I think back to what I've said, and what reasons I could have had for it.. and if it does seem that I've said it for the above reasons, then I feel ashamed and tell myself to be more careful in the future. I just don't see a point in saying something only to make yourself seem better, or more knowledgable, just for the sake of it, without any added value in the information itself.

encounter

I was just walking home today from the station, the time being about 12 midnight (as I often do), all draped and huddled in with my great coat, when I noticed a lady across the road staring at me. She had been walking her dog (god knows why at midnight), and as I approached and completed my crossing, she ask me with with incredulity, "Are you wearing your pajamas?" (with a straight face mind you). I hence proceeded to derobe my outer garment, upon which she said "oh, i guess not" and then walked away.

I've been thinking back on my previous account of humour: people, situations, and ideas. It occurred to me that rendering anything subject, is to make it more moving, triggering emotions and feeling in the individual. This can be in both a positive and a negative way, for although tragic past memories can be stirred to mind with this act of relating, the same can change an fundametally abstract idea to one that we hold dear to our hearts. Thus it seems to me that to draw ideas (and humour) we encounter, to experiences we have had firsthand, is to multiply the power of effect it has on us, for better or worse.

consolidation

After another late night (as one does these RAPP days with little pressing to do) keeping myself warm with a few glasses of preboiled water, I went to bed. I remember dreaming as usual, but toward the end of that dream, feeling the urge to go to the toilet, finding one in the dream, and using it, but not feeling that sense of urgency and fullness go away (and a good thing at that). I was standing there, going and going and going, puzzling away, when it finally occurred to me that I might be dreaming. As soon as I realised that, I got up, and went to the loo. Its a good thing my body can differentiate dream from real life in this circumstance, seeing that its sometimes so hard to distinguish once you're stuck in there.

Had a conversation last night with a friend, and they happened to mistake the word consolidation for consolation (an error I frequently make when I'm not careful). In that time just before I dropped off to sleep, my mind tumbled that word over and over, with the thoughts branching off in all directions, when I came to an idea. I have no idea whether people have already done or tried this, but here it is anyway. In septicaemia, pathogens, usually from a single source like the urinary tract or lungs, grow in number in their location, and then start to disseminate out into the blood stream. Soon, they start taking over here, causing a major life threatening situation for the person. What if, there were some way (through chemokines and the such) we could introduce a homing beacon of some sort, in a place that was easily assessible (say, close to the skin) and 'collect' the pathogen at that spot. Here, they could either be destroyed locally, or at least filtered from the bloodstream to at least limit the production and numbers there. In this way, we could round up and 'cull' the invaders, perhaps even to the extent of 'persuading' the ones from the primary source to travel out from their locale and hence treat the cause too. But of course, this is just an idea; perhaps I can make some use of it some time in the future.

Austin Interview

Had my last interview today. Yay. Took me 2.5 CDs to get me there and back from the Northern. Maybe I should be putting Austin down lower on my list.

I was feeling bored last weekend, with nothing urgent left to do, and so I pulled out some of my old piano music and started playing through them. I found some of my old Bach baroque pieces and although I couldn't quite play them to sound quite right, I really got into them. Now all week, I've had those little melodies and countermelodies pop up all the time, when I'm daydreaming, driving, just walking around, and even when I'm in that state just before I get up when i'm not quite awake. Today, I just had to pull out those pieces again and go through them again. The only problem is that I feel I need baroque pieces, more modulating voices, countermelodies, themes, canons - and I have some, but I can't play them well enough to satify my need. I think it's some sort of orderly mathematical clockwork-like quality to that style that appeals to me, which is what I'm after. I need to buy some CDs.

Got a call yesterday from an old school friend, asking that I help out with his girlfriend's exam or some such next week - Vocal. The problem lies not in my will, but my ability, as I have seriously forgotten whence it was last I practiced. I feel that if I can't do it well (especially seeing its for exams), then its best that someone else should do it. The other problem is that there may not be others, or that others may be even worse than me. So, in the meantime, I've pulled out the old Hanon studies and warmed my fingers up in anticipation. I've forgotten how sore they can get after practice.

Humour

Had a tutorial about humour yesterday, and it brought to light the way it can be used, especially in a negative manner. In particular, it focused on situation where a patient might be talked about or joked about, and the morality of this. On the one hand, there's the issue of confidentiality and respecting patients, whilst on the other, it can be seen to be a method of stress relief for example. It was also interesting to note that students tended to side with the patients more (when they were at the brunt of a joke). Apart from the fact that medical students were also usually the target of jokes, I think the comraderie between patients and students lies in knowledge. Both are on the bottom of the ladder, with little knowledge on what's going on, what will happen next, and so on. With this is a sense of helplessness and lack of power - they are both at the mercy of the superiors above them. Let us hope that once I reach a level where there are those below me that I don't forget what it was like to feel helpless at the bottom.

Another focus in the session was that of 'safe' humour, and of all the things spoken of, the only one that was, was humour about one's self. Sex, politics, religion, and that about others (especially a disability) were out of the picture, and even that of events and situations were inconsistent. Here, you would need to know a least some of the background of your audience to be able to make sure you don't offend. This subject got me to thinking of the idea I had heard somewhere in the past about a hierarchy of conversation. The three things were: talking about people (gossip), situations, and ideas; this being in order from lowest to highest. I don't think necessarily that this was referring to a 'goodness' or 'badness' rating, but perhaps more of a abstractness and requirement for thought as one moved up. In any case, I got to thinking, and the conclusion I reached was also that the more objective you got, the 'safer' it was. The example above of humour about situations could be dangerous, as the obejctive idea of a situation could refer to a subjective situation that someone else might have had, which then might cause offense. So the thing being the least subjective, with the least chance to be able to refer to anyone in particular, ideas, should in theory be the safest for use in humour. This, of course, I cannot be sure of but I will try to look out in the future now and see if I can find any examples where humour about ideas has failed.

Western Interview

Another day, another interview. Seemed to go better than yesterdays' one, at least it went on for longer than 5 minutes this time. I probably felt more comfortable with the more conversational tone of the interview, as well as not having to sit behind a 3 metre wide board table with the interviewers staring across at me from another postcode.

Had some talk today on a hospital's computer system, and how they're all starting to link up now throughout the state, and eventually, Australia. I've been thinking for a long time now how the whole system seems to be all jumbled up, with no integration at all. Everyone just does their own thing, and leaves others to pick up what-ever pieces they can. I even got to thinking I should design my own hospital and health system to ensure everyone knows what everyone else is doing, has done, and where to find everything. But after today's talk, I started thinking maybe things are not so bad after all, or at least there are people in the network that are actively working and striving towards an end that's similar to what I envisioned. I will have to wait and see what it's like once I start working, as I can't really judge how good or bad things are at the moment.

Dad just walked in then (he's back from his trip now) and mentioned to me how China's recently formed a depart or something within the hospital/health system: specifically to combat the growing problem of computer addiction in children. The symptom is that they get violent when taken away from the computers, and lash out at parents. The treatment they are looking at is, of course, medication. Maybe I need some too.